Lamenting the loss of the True Schooner

Last night I had cause to complain. Bitterly.

You see, it all started when I went to the pub on the corner for a drink. Now, this is not your usual old-school pub with a long bar, twelve taps and two barmaids. This is a new 'pub'. Not that its called that, its a 'hotel'. I requested a simple beverage, a schooner of Carlton Draught.

What was placed in front of me was an abomination. The liquid inside was the only thing they got right. The glass was not even remotely schooner sized, nor schooner shaped. But rather a bizarre pentagonal-shape based vessel that gradually changed shape to a circle at the top as you'd expect. The size was all wrong, the proportions were all wrong, the glass was all wrong, wrong, wrong!

And then the cost! $4.10! I dont mind paying $4.10 for a schooner, but this, this was no schooner. A schooner glass by classic publican definition holds 425ml of beer. There was no way even close that this faux-schooner was capable of carrying more than 350ml.

The NSW Office of Fair Trading has guidelines relating to the size of glasses here. And I quote "The colloquial terms, such as ‘seven’, ‘middy’ and ‘schooner’ do not indicate any particular size of glass. Traders should be aware that any advertising using such terms should be qualified by the indication of the actual size of the glass being used on the premises eg ‘middy’ (280 mL) ‘middy’ (285 mL) or ‘schooner’ (400 mL) ‘schooner’ (425 mL)." So, in ther humble but trusted opinion, the terms are colloquial and therefore not binding? We are dealing with 100 years of drinking history. This cannot be trifled with on a whim because some inner city publican decides to make a few extra dollars by reducing the glass size but maintaining the price! It is now up to the publican to decide on his own glass size and term, which must be qualified and indicated. I wonder how small the sign is.

At least I am surrounded by individuals of like minds.

So, beer drinkers, pay attention! Or the prophecy of the Heckler could come true, and before long we are paying $4.10 for a shot glass of Tooheys New.

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