Idiots, averted!

Well, it nearly happened sunday.

Another bike crash, averted!

Riding through Narrabeen, some clown in a taxi decides to turn left right in front of me. And I do mean right in front of me. Lucky I was already over the brake hoods so I grabbed them both hard. Which of course resulted in unweighting the back wheel and locking it up for a nice long skid a fixed gear rider would've been proud of. We're talking 9 metres here. I could've won a skidding competition, I tells ya.

Not sure if the cab driver didnt see me, or just had no idea of speed v. distance, but this was as close as I've been without actually hitting the car. I did manage to get the boot slap as he turned across me, his wide-eyed stare from the drivers window as I two-finger saluted him perhaps indicated that he had no idea I was there.

I understand. You can easily miss seeing a guy in a red and silver long sleeve jersey, bright blue knicks, riding a silver bike, in sunshine.

This following a fellow rider crashing into another inanimate object and destroying his front end two weeks ago. He says he was lost in thought. Probably his next thought was 'how did I get down here?' as he lay on the concrete pedestrian safety island. There's still a black mark on the front edge where he went onto it. A couple of fractured ribs, a fractured shoulder blade and two weeks of headaches later, he'll probably be back riding soon. He'll need a new helmet too, after splitting the old one into two pieces.

The joys of riding. Probably get less injuries on a mountain bike riding trails.

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Song of the Week: Black Velvet Band

Black Velvet Band
words and music traditional

In a neat little town they call Belfast
Apprenticed in trade I was bound
And many's the hour of sweet happiness
I spent in that neat little town
Till bad misfortune befell me
That caused me to stray from the land
Far away from my friends and relations
To follow the black velvet band

Her eyes they shone like the diamond
You'd think she was queen of the land
And her hair hung over her shoulder
Tied up with a black velvet band

As I was out strolling down broadway
Not intending to go very far
I met with a frolicksome damsel
Applying her trade in a bar
Well a watch she took from a customer
And she slipped it right into my hand
Then the Watch came and put me in prison
Bad luck to the black velvet band

Before judge and jury next morning
For our trial I had to appear
The judge, he said, "My young fellow,
The case against you is quite clear.
Well seven years is your sentence.
You're going to Van Diemen's Land.
Far away from your friends and relations
To follow the black velvet band."

So come all you jolly young fellows
I'd have you take warning by me
Whenever you're out on the liquor
Beware of the pretty colleen
For she'll fill you with whiskey and porter
Until you're not able to stand
And the very next thing that you notice
You've landed in Van Diemen's Land


The Dropkick Murphys version has a few changed lyrics that pull the song more into their Boston punk/rock lineage of traditional Irish cover versions:

DKM: Black Velvet Band

In a neat little town they call Brockton
Apprenticed in trade I was bound
And many an hour's sweet happiness
I spent in that neat little town
Then bad misfortune befell me
That caused me to stray from the land
Far away from my friends and companions
To follow the black velvet band

Well, I was out strolling one evening
Not intending to stay very long
When I met a frolicsome damsel
As she came t-ripping along
A watch she pulled out a'pocket
And slipped it right into my hand
On the very first night that I met her
Bad luck to the black velvet band

Her eyes they shone like the diamonds
You'd think she was queen of the land
And her hair hung over her shoulder
Tied up in a black velvet band

Before judge and jury next morning
Both of us did appear
A gentleman claimed his jewelry
And the case against us was clear
Now seven long years transportation
Right down to Van Diemen's land
Far away from my friends and companions
To follow the black velvet band

Her eyes they shone like the diamonds
You'd think she was queen of the land
And her hair hung over her shoulder
Tied up with a black velvet band

So come all you jolly young fellows
I'd have you take warning by me
Whenever you're out on the liquor
Beware of the pretty colleen
She'll fill you with whiskey and porter
Until you're not able to stand
And the very next thing you'd know
You've landed in Van Diemen's Land

Her eyes they shone like the diamonds
You'd think she was queen of the land
And her hair hung over her shoulder
Tied up with a black velvet band

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This is (witticism here ending in AAAAAAAA)

I've been getting into the internet meme that is 300.this.is of late.

Those of you who have seen 300 (I, as yet, have not) will recognise the scene. The face of the lead character has since been morphed into many, many other locales with humorous results. Those of you who dont know it, by the time you follow one or two of the links, will recognise it if you've spent any time on message boards, chat rooms or humour sites.

Mirth aplenty here:
livejournal entry
ED entry
Dossier: Les parodies du film 300
This is Harold
Badges

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Of Real Racers and Road Roughies

Real Racers

Following allegations of theft and subterfuge in the Formula 1, the World Motor Sport Council has announced a decision regarding the McLaren/Ferrari saga.

In a big call, McLaren have been fined US$100million for after they were found to be in possession of Ferrari technical data, and may have incorporated it into their 2007 car.

Full report here.

Naturally, Ferrari are satisfied with the verdict. This hands them the 2007 title in an undeserving car. McLaren drivers Fernando Alonso and Lewis Hamilton are able to score points individually, but the team is barred from accruing any more constructors championship points.

With such a small community as Formula 1 designers, engineers and drivers, the passing of data is inevitable. But the large amount that the McLaren designer had amassed obviously warranted investigation. Whats to stop someone taking a photo of a Ferrari test, taking it back to the McLaren labs and divining the science behind it?

I cant shake a feeling...Ferrari are Italian, correct? Serie A, anyone??

If Ferrari were honest about this, they'd turn down the constructors championship this season, as would everyone else.

Road Roughies

To the bloke in the maroon Magna that tailgated me along Frenches Forest Road yesterday evening:
1. Learn where the nose of your car is or learn to be patient.
2. Dont get stuck into me cause you cant keep up once we travelled from the 50km/h zone to the 70km/h zone.
3. Dont go off like a frog in a sock cause you dont like the two finger salute.
4. You obviously fail to see the irony in giving me the 'nobody thinks big of you' finger wave as you drive by me at 25km/h over the speed limit.
5. Next time you do it I WILL BRAKE TEST YOU, BE AWARE!

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STUFF! (that looks like other stuff)*: Part 1

In what is hoped to become a semi-regular series, I bring you part one of...

STUFF!
(that looks like other stuff)*

Firstly, a submitted picture entitled Ham Happy:


There's nothing like a cheerful face greeting you first thing in the morning, is there now?

Secondly, incontrovertible proof of dinosaur activity in Melbourne (sometime pre-2007):

Or it might just be bark.

Thirdly, the natural occurrence of the bicycle, with bike fork twig:

Then again, it might just be an upside-down stick.

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*A shamelessly stolen idea, thanks Ben.

Yet another web presence opportunity - velospace.org

In the multitudes of corners of this thing called the internet, there are a great many places and spaces (as they are increasingly called) where people can put portions of their lives, loves, or lovelives on display.

For cyclists, there are a few. Some highly specialised, like Fixed Gear Gallery (catering to, you guessed it, fixed gear bicycles). Not that I have anything against fixed gear bikes, but a Billy Connolly line springs to mind when he talks of being a vegetarian. "I had a wee problem...I didnt like other vegetarians!" Insert 'fixed gear riders' in place of vegetarians and you have a fair idea of the culture behind it at present. Enough on that from me. For a good blast at that whole scene, read BikeSnobNYC. Super blog.

I have succumbed, again. Aside from this blog, my other blog (albeit far less frequently posted to), and a couple of other things I may or may not have forgotten about, I have posted a bicycle of mine on velospace.org.

Velospace describes itself thus: "velospace has one goal: to connect bike enthusiasts". In order to avoid flame wars between the road bike/mountain bike/fixed gear masses, Rule 1 of the site simply states: "Rule 1. Don't be a jerk."

Anyway, enough of that. Here is the link to my bike. Feel free to wander over, then wander around. I challenge you to try to navigate this site simply by the random button and NOT get a fixed gear hipster doofus bike within three clicks. Cant be done. They're like rabbits, breeding incessantly. At least until someone deems them uncool and they all sell them and start riding Vespas again. It doesnt say I cant be a jerk on here or BSNYC now, does it?

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